I Never Knew Jesus Was A Sausage Roll

In November 2017 Greggs Bakery caused controversy when they replaced the Baby Jesus with a bitten sausage roll in their Christmas Nativity Advert. This poem was written because of that advert…


I knew that Henry VIII was a ruthless king
I knew that Benny Goodman was the King of Swing
I knew of Old King Cole was a merry old soul
But I never knew Jesus was a sausage roll

I’ve eaten dodgy grub in pubs
You could possibly tempt me with Witchetty Grubs
I’ve tasted steaks from kangaroos
But I’d draw the line at the King of the Jews

I knew that Elton John’s really Reginald Dwight…
The soul singer Dean Parish is actually white…
Rhod Gilbert’s got a Battenberg inked on his back…
But I never knew Christ was a savoury snack!

God created the Earth, the Sun and the stars
All that exists on this planet of ours
So how in Hell, the question begs…
Did his only son get baked by Greggs?!

I knew King Herod was a child killer..
King Kong was an XXXL gorilla…
I knew that Elvis Presley sang King Creole…
But I never knew Jesus was a sausage roll


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