Just Another Slow Dance


Saturday night in a Northern town, there was a disco on at the civic hall,
The dance floor lights were dimmed right down, except for circles of stars from the mirror ball.
The slow dance… that one last chance, to find a desperate sniff of romance.
And as the animals went past 2 by 2, I looked across and spotted you.
You were chewing gum and your hair was a mess, I asked you to dance and you said “Yes”.

We took to the floor, a little unsure,
And just by way of breaking the ice…
I lied and told you your dress looked nice!
And call it emotion, call it confusion… but you snuggled in close… and I got a protrusion
And I limped with you in a circular motion… to ‘Suddenly’ by Billy Ocean.

You waved across at your best mate – Pam… she was off her tits on Babycham!
In a dress that was little more than a slip… being dragged on her feet, by my best mate Pete,
Who had the cheeks of her arse in a vice-like grip!
As she gave him ‘twos-up’ on her cigarette… you’d never have guessed that they’d only just met,
Anyone would have thought that they were going steady… she’d given him three big love bites already!

There was a beautiful fragrance wafting from you… and as we danced, I became entranced…
By the smell of your Woodley Green Apple Shampoo.
And as we twirled in the smog of the dry ice, I knocked you bandy with my dad’s Old Spice.
Then you coughed in my face through the cigarette smoke… and your breath smelt exotic… Malibu & Coke!
These sensual aromas all started to mingle, as the DJ put on another slow single.

My hand snaked down and touched your behind… and I didn’t get slapped so you didn’t mind!
A watershed moment, right out of the blue… I could suddenly see my whole future… with you!
I saw us engaged in a restaurant – you clutching a flower… a violinist playing as we sipped… Black Tower!
I could picture you in the church in your wedding dress… still chewing gum and your hair still a mess!
Whilst we were pirouetting through ‘Nights in White Satin’… I was planning a honeymoon in Prestatyn!

It never felt so good, it never felt so right… I was in paradise by the mirror ball’s light.
Then “WHAM!” my dreams crashed down with a bump… as the music changed to a ‘Thumpety-Thump’…
Some Novelty song began to play… the lights started flashing and you blazed away…
Off you went with a ‘Trumpety Trump’.
Across the floor with some lump of a bloke, who’d bartered your heart with a Malibu & Coke.

My world was suddenly torn in two, as you eloped with this ape who’d escaped from the zoo.
For two slow dances I’d been the one, but the tempo had changed and you’d danced on.
My fire blown out – I shambled back… flaccidly to my lager and black.
One moment I’d been sniffing your hair & freely groping your derriere…
The next I was slumped in a polyprop chair…

Licking my wounds in the neon light, and drowning my sorrows till the end of the night.
Then I watched as you, the lump, and Pam & Pete, all followed your pheromones into the street.
Whilst to the satirical drone of… ‘You’ll never walk alone’… I started the long walk home on my own…
Cursing my luck and cursing you, as I headed for the solace of the chip shop queue.

Dejected and rejected, as I dolefully reflected…
That… what I’d been sure was the start of a new romance… had been for you nothing more than…
Just another slow dance!
Copyright©Mac McFadden 2008

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